


The Tale of the March Hare and the Cheshire Cat

by Cinnie



Category: Lost Boys (Movies)
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Crack, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9348467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnie/pseuds/Cinnie
Summary: This is a weird idea that came to me about sort of parodying lost boys with Alice in Wonderland....The Red King tries to make some kids with a very mixed bag of results, everything from a Cheshire Cat with a  wicked smile, to a weepy Mock Turtle who sings about Human Soup...





	

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

 

Max - The Red King/Queen of Hearts

David - The Cheshire Cat

Dwayne - The Hatter

Paul - The Duchess (a pot plant is his "baby")

Marco - The Dormouse

Star - The Mock Turtle

Laddie - The White Rabbit

 

One upon a time there was a Red King who found himself wanting a family. He had lived for many years alone, with no one to know he was a king, but now he felt that time had come to get an heir or two, children who would give his kingship meaning.

 

So he set out to make the perfect family, but the first child he got turned out to be a Cheshire Cat with an unsettling smile, full of teeth and mischief. With a disposition to run when told to walk and to walk when told to run. The Cat was also quite proud of that horrid smile of his and had a tendency to leave it floating about when he wasn't using it, just to show it off.

 

The Red King had an unsettling smile as well, but he'd long since outlawed reflections, thus making it possible for him to forget that fact.

 

The Second child had seemed a better choice, he’d been so silent, so soild, here, the Red King had thought, here was a worthy son, however this one turned out to be a Dormouse, silent yes, but unfortunately far to apt to follow the antics of the Cat or at the very least, do nothing to stop the Cat.

 

The Third child turned out to be a gossipy Duchess, who would talk the ear off of anyone, and alternately babied and bullied the others as the notions took him.

 

The Fourth child was smaller and a bit younger than the first three, and at first, the Red King hoped, but this one turned out to be almost as bad as the Cat, being mad as a hatter with a tatty patchwork coat and an even wilder nature than the Cat.

 

The Red King was near to giving up hope, instead of a close and loyal family, he found himself with a rowdy bunch of mad creatures, lead by the Cat, who rarely obeyed or respected him.

 

Deciding that maybe a bit of female influence would calm them down, he gave them a sister, only this one was different than the others, at first the Red King dared hope but no alas all she was, was a sad weepy little Mock Turtle that bemoaned her life before and wasn’t grateful at all to be his daughter.

 

Her songs of

_Soup…_

_Red human soup_

_Soup…_

were terribly dull and trying on anyone’s patience.

 

As a last ditch effort he gave them a much younger brother, but the silly little White Rabbit was a late bloomer, and clung to the Mock Turtle far too much. At wits end the King decided that maybe he needed a Queen to coral his wayward young and so set to searching out the perfect lady to fulfill the role of wife and mother.

 

 


End file.
